A odor of mushroom in the air at Moutza time
Did CBS anchor Scott Pelley or former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, now with Toronto, win John Kass’ June Moutza award?
Did CBS anchor Scott Pelley or former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, now with Toronto, win John Kass’ June Moutza award?
Taxpayers tend to take things personally when historically corrupt and inept governments grab their money, so readers overwhelmingly nominated Democratic Boss Mike Madigan for the golden Moutza of June.
Madigan, the longtime Illinois House Speaker, rammed through a whopping $Five billion state tax increase with the help of fifteen House Republicans whose spines are made entirely of ricotta cheese.
“If it’s anyone other than Madigan, the moutza should be retired, as it’s been rendered meaningless,” said Michael Porembski on Facebook where Moutza nominations take place.
“I’m going Madigan. NAH! NAH!” cried taxpayer Marcia Getty, providing the classic dual moutza.
“Always and forever Michael Madigan,” insisted Anastasia Terovolas, “cleverly done again. He wore down the Republicans. And then Mephistopheles can blame the governor, and get his little (Democratic gubernatorial candidate J.B.) Pritzker puppet in there and the fiefdom is secure again. Makes me sick.”
“Can we give Mike Madigan a ‘Lifetime Moutza’ award?” asked Jeffrey Podolski.
Who can say? And even if Madigan has the votes to override Gov. Bruce Rauner’s tax vote veto on Thursday, I tell you with absolute certainty that Boss Madigan cannot possibly win the golden Moutza of June.
Why? Madigan performed his evil genius tax raising act — with the fifteen craven Republicans — in early July, not June.
So he’s exempt on a technicality.
“Can you at least give a collective Moutza?” asked Bill Wilson. “If so then I say ‘Nah!’ to the Republicans who voted for Madigan’s tax increase.”
The rules are the rules, Bill Wilson. This is the June moutza. Not July’s. Without rules, we will descend into barbarism and chaos.
So let’s get on with the moutza, the noble mitt signal of ancient contempt, followed by a “Nah!” (here) or “Parta!” (take them) or “Feesah” (suck.)
There is nothing fairly like your wifey being angry on account of your stupidity.
Not your stupidity. My stupidity.
You didn’t fountain four hundred pounds of pungent compost into the back of my wifey’s spotless SUV.
“What smells?” she asked. “What did you do to my car?”
Gratefully, I have a good defense.
There is nothing fairly like your wifey being angry on account of your stupidity.
Not your stupidity. My stupidity.
You didn’t fountain four hundred pounds of pungent compost into the back of my wifey’s spotless SUV.
“What smells?” she asked. “What did you do to my car?”
Gratefully, I have a good defense.
“I nominate you,” wrote Barbara Goetzelman, because I loaded four hundred pounds of mushroom compost into my wifey’s clean SUV so that I could grow good tomatoes in my backyard.
“Years ago, when my hubby and I were very first married and he was in school, he took a job at a mushroom facility. Unnecessary to say he reeked when he came home. I would meet him at the door with a plastic garbage bag — he stripped and everything went into the bag which was sealed until I went to the laundromat. And he went right in for a shower.
“I vividly reminisce the stench from his clothes and can’t believe a loving spouse would do that to his wifey’s car. Did you at least have it cleaned?”
I think so. At least I sprayed some Febreze in there.
“I know you can’t nominate a POTUS for a Moutza, so I nominate the citizen Donald Trump and his tweets,” said Matthew Latourette.
President Trump’s embarrassing and odious tweets to “Joe and Mika,” those two MSNBC broadcast clowns, was underneath the dignity of the office. But the Moutzatution is clear: Presidents may not win the moutza. Otherwise I’d have given the award each month to Obama and we’d be calling it the Obamoutza.
Tammy Pulver wants the Moutza of June to go to retail clerks “who say, ‘Have a good one!’ instead of ‘Thank you’ or, ‘Have a nice day.’ I always want to say, “Have a nice WHAT?!” but then I would deserve a moutza.”
You don’t deserve the moutza. They do. So let your mitt do the talking. That’s what the Moutza is for.
“There was a story about the shootings in Little Rock,” wrote Bill Blaine. “The Fresh York Times mislabeled the location as “downtown Arkansas.” No editors left?”
The “downtown Arkansas” line did not show up in a NYT story, but it did emerge in a NYT tweet, which prompted much mockery on Twitter. My beloved coming from @BrianOKelley1 who wrote: “‘Downtown Arkansas, near the corner of Oklahoma and Texas!”
Cubs fan Emil Strandquist wants the moutza for former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, who was shipped off to Toronto after complaining his pitchers couldn’t hold runners on base.
Wearing his fresh Toronto Blue Jays jersey, Miguel Montero desired to put behind him his petulant parting from the Chicago Cubs.
“It wasn’t the flawless departure, but it is what it was. I live the moment, and I just indeed don’t look back at the past right now,” he said Tuesday after reporting to.
Wearing his fresh Toronto Blue Jays jersey, Miguel Montero desired to put behind him his petulant parting from the Chicago Cubs.
“It wasn’t the flawless departure, but it is what it was. I live the moment, and I just indeed don’t look back at the past right now,” he said Tuesday after reporting to.
“Montero? Here’s what happens after they steal seven on you and you throw the pitching staff under your own team bus!” said Strandquist. “See ya and a big NAH!”
“Let’s not leave behind intelligence specialist Reality Winner,” said Ron Smith, “who divulged sensitive information. She then told her sister, ‘I’m going to play that card being pretty, white and lovely, braid my hair and sob and all.’ In her fantasies. Here’s reality for you, honey — ‘Feesah etho!’ “
The lovely braid sympathy card? Nah!
John Dyslin wants the Moutza for former CBS anchor Scott Pelley, “who said the shooting of congressman Scalise and four others was ‘self inflicted.’ Indeed, Pelley?”
Pelley indeed asked whether Republicans may have prompted the alleged leftist shooter from Illinois to pull the trigger during a Congressional baseball practice. And now he’s gone.
Indeed Pelley? Gargle on it. Nah!
But that doesn’t reaction the question: Who wins the Moutza of June?
Madigan and the cheese spine Republicans can’t win, and POTUS can’t win, and Montero has already been shipped out of the country, and Reality Winner, is in jail, and Pelley has been threw and I’m staring at one thing:
Ms. Goetzelman’s gracious but pointed letter.
Yes, I did indeed geyser the stinky compost into my wifey’s car. And so, Ms. Goetzelman, I must accept the Moutza of June.
But I do so without regret. And I’ll do it again, because my tomatoes just love the stuff.
Listen to “The Chicago Way” podcast with John Kass and Jeff Carlin at wgnradio.com/category/wgn-plus/thechicagoway.
A cup of tomatoes from John Kass’ backyard garden prove that his very first self-inflicted Moutza award was worth it.
A cup of tomatoes from John Kass’ backyard garden prove that his very first self-inflicted Moutza award was worth it.
A smell of mushroom in the air at Moutza time – Chicago Tribune
A odor of mushroom in the air at Moutza time
Did CBS anchor Scott Pelley or former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, now with Toronto, win John Kass’ June Moutza award?
Did CBS anchor Scott Pelley or former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, now with Toronto, win John Kass’ June Moutza award?
Taxpayers tend to take things personally when historically corrupt and inept governments grab their money, so readers overwhelmingly nominated Democratic Boss Mike Madigan for the golden Moutza of June.
Madigan, the longtime Illinois House Speaker, rammed through a whopping $Five billion state tax increase with the help of fifteen House Republicans whose spines are made entirely of ricotta cheese.
“If it’s anyone other than Madigan, the moutza should be retired, as it’s been rendered meaningless,” said Michael Porembski on Facebook where Moutza nominations take place.
“I’m going Madigan. NAH! NAH!” cried taxpayer Marcia Getty, providing the classic dual moutza.
“Always and forever Michael Madigan,” insisted Anastasia Terovolas, “cleverly done again. He wore down the Republicans. And then Mephistopheles can blame the governor, and get his little (Democratic gubernatorial candidate J.B.) Pritzker puppet in there and the fiefdom is secure again. Makes me sick.”
“Can we give Mike Madigan a ‘Lifetime Moutza’ award?” asked Jeffrey Podolski.
Who can say? And even if Madigan has the votes to override Gov. Bruce Rauner’s tax vote veto on Thursday, I tell you with absolute certainty that Boss Madigan cannot possibly win the golden Moutza of June.
Why? Madigan performed his evil genius tax raising act — with the fifteen craven Republicans — in early July, not June.
So he’s exempt on a technicality.
“Can you at least give a collective Moutza?” asked Bill Wilson. “If so then I say ‘Nah!’ to the Republicans who voted for Madigan’s tax increase.”
The rules are the rules, Bill Wilson. This is the June moutza. Not July’s. Without rules, we will descend into barbarism and chaos.
So let’s get on with the moutza, the noble mitt signal of ancient contempt, followed by a “Nah!” (here) or “Parta!” (take them) or “Feesah” (suck.)
There is nothing fairly like your wifey being angry on account of your stupidity.
Not your stupidity. My stupidity.
You didn’t geyser four hundred pounds of pungent compost into the back of my wifey’s spotless SUV.
“What smells?” she asked. “What did you do to my car?”
Gratefully, I have a good defense.
There is nothing fairly like your wifey being angry on account of your stupidity.
Not your stupidity. My stupidity.
You didn’t explosion four hundred pounds of pungent compost into the back of my wifey’s spotless SUV.
“What smells?” she asked. “What did you do to my car?”
Gratefully, I have a good defense.
“I nominate you,” wrote Barbara Goetzelman, because I loaded four hundred pounds of mushroom compost into my wifey’s clean SUV so that I could grow fine tomatoes in my backyard.
“Years ago, when my hubby and I were very first married and he was in school, he took a job at a mushroom facility. Unnecessary to say he reeked when he came home. I would meet him at the door with a plastic garbage bag — he stripped and everything went into the bag which was sealed until I went to the laundromat. And he went right in for a shower.
“I vividly recall the stench from his clothes and can’t believe a loving spouse would do that to his wifey’s car. Did you at least have it cleaned?”
I think so. At least I sprayed some Febreze in there.
“I know you can’t nominate a POTUS for a Moutza, so I nominate the citizen Donald Trump and his tweets,” said Matthew Latourette.
President Trump’s embarrassing and odious tweets to “Joe and Mika,” those two MSNBC broadcast clowns, was underneath the dignity of the office. But the Moutzatution is clear: Presidents may not win the moutza. Otherwise I’d have given the award each month to Obama and we’d be calling it the Obamoutza.
Tammy Pulver wants the Moutza of June to go to retail clerks “who say, ‘Have a good one!’ instead of ‘Thank you’ or, ‘Have a nice day.’ I always want to say, “Have a nice WHAT?!” but then I would deserve a moutza.”
You don’t deserve the moutza. They do. So let your arm do the talking. That’s what the Moutza is for.
“There was a story about the shootings in Little Rock,” wrote Bill Blaine. “The Fresh York Times mislabeled the location as “downtown Arkansas.” No editors left?”
The “downtown Arkansas” line did not emerge in a NYT story, but it did show up in a NYT tweet, which prompted much mockery on Twitter. My dearest coming from @BrianOKelley1 who wrote: “‘Downtown Arkansas, near the corner of Oklahoma and Texas!”
Cubs fan Emil Strandquist wants the moutza for former Cubs catcher Miguel Montero, who was shipped off to Toronto after complaining his pitchers couldn’t hold runners on base.
Wearing his fresh Toronto Blue Jays jersey, Miguel Montero dreamed to put behind him his petulant parting from the Chicago Cubs.
“It wasn’t the ideal departure, but it is what it was. I live the moment, and I just truly don’t look back at the past right now,” he said Tuesday after reporting to.
Wearing his fresh Toronto Blue Jays jersey, Miguel Montero desired to put behind him his petulant parting from the Chicago Cubs.
“It wasn’t the flawless departure, but it is what it was. I live the moment, and I just truly don’t look back at the past right now,” he said Tuesday after reporting to.
“Montero? Here’s what happens after they steal seven on you and you throw the pitching staff under your own team bus!” said Strandquist. “See ya and a big NAH!”
“Let’s not leave behind intelligence specialist Reality Winner,” said Ron Smith, “who divulged sensitive information. She then told her sister, ‘I’m going to play that card being pretty, white and nice, braid my hair and sob and all.’ In her wishes. Here’s reality for you, honey — ‘Feesah etho!’ “
The lovely braid sympathy card? Nah!
John Dyslin wants the Moutza for former CBS anchor Scott Pelley, “who said the shooting of congressman Scalise and four others was ‘self inflicted.’ Truly, Pelley?”
Pelley indeed asked whether Republicans may have prompted the alleged leftist shooter from Illinois to pull the trigger during a Congressional baseball practice. And now he’s gone.
Truly Pelley? Gargle on it. Nah!
But that doesn’t reaction the question: Who wins the Moutza of June?
Madigan and the cheese spine Republicans can’t win, and POTUS can’t win, and Montero has already been shipped out of the country, and Reality Winner, is in jail, and Pelley has been threw and I’m staring at one thing:
Ms. Goetzelman’s gracious but pointed letter.
Yes, I did indeed flow the stinky compost into my wifey’s car. And so, Ms. Goetzelman, I must accept the Moutza of June.
But I do so without regret. And I’ll do it again, because my tomatoes just love the stuff.
Listen to “The Chicago Way” podcast with John Kass and Jeff Carlin at wgnradio.com/category/wgn-plus/thechicagoway.
A cup of tomatoes from John Kass’ backyard garden prove that his very first self-inflicted Moutza award was worth it.
A cup of tomatoes from John Kass’ backyard garden prove that his very first self-inflicted Moutza award was worth it.